Thursday, April 7, 2016

Take A Picture, Parker Glassport, It'll Last Longer — April 7, 2016

Special to the Quilt by Quilt editor in chief, Owen Smouth, editor-in-chief of the Quilt.
OUR INTREPID teen photographer, Parker Glassport, is back yet again with another unique take on Canoga Park with our every-once-in-a-while, quick-throw-any-fresh-content-up-on-the-site feature, "The Roving Photogra—"  ...Wait, what are we calling this crap again? — eh, "Take A Picture, Parker Glassport, It'll Last Longer."

And heeeeeere we go:


And oh boy, isn't that a beaut! Real prize-winner, there, Parker. Yeah, you'll wow the admissions review board at LA Valley College with this masterpiece in your portfolio.

You should see the photographic crap we pass on from him, folks: the requisite pics of sleeping homeless people, dead squirrels, cluttered alleyways, abandoned shopping carts, closeups of chain-link fences topped with razor wire — pretty much everything you'd expect a budding high school photographer would think is somehow artistically profound. Sure, Ansel Adams he ain't but the kid doesn't complain when I send him to Jiffy Lube to get the oil changed on the Buick, plus he's getting some sort of work program credit and gets to skip school a lot. Everyone wins.

So anyway, you people enjoy the nice picture up there while our journalists are hard at work digging into news of Canoga Park and bringing you more hard-hitting journalism about Canoga Park news stories. 'Hard at work,' 'hard-hitting,' journalists,' 'journalism,' Christ almighty — Someone clean that shit up before we post it.

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