Report: West Hills-Sponsored Rainbow May Have Violated Canoga Park Airspace

By Sherman Farralone, Quilt staff.

DATELINE: HIGH ABOVE THE CHIMNEY TOPS

A rare emergency meeting of the Canoga Park Friendly Neighborhood Council was called this evening to discuss the possibility that a rainbow sponsored by West Hills may have violated Canoga Park airspace, exacerbating an already strained relationship with Canoga Park’s neighbor to the west, and to determine what, if any, action should be taken against the exclusive community. 

The rainbow, visible from approximately 4:41 until 4:56 pm Monday afternoon, was anchored at one end at a used railroad tie lot in Chatsworth and, at the other end, in an alley behind Franklin’s Hardware just south of Ventura Boulevard in Woodland Hills. The bulk of the colored band of light traversed Canoga Park from above, giving much of West Hills a view of what was described in local news and social media as “quintessential,” “amazing,” “magnificent” and “in-f_cking-credible.”

“I think it’s disgusting — and that both Chatsworth and Woodland Hills were in collusion with West Hills on this matter speaks volumes about the integrity of those communities as well,” said an angry Vera Morris, the Council’s Representative In Charge Of Shoes Flung Over Power Lines And Other Things Up High. “They used the sky over our neighborhood to put on a display of nature’s grandeur specifically for their residents, not ours.”

The rainbow visible primarily from West Hills was so large not only did it span the entire north to
south length of Canoga Park, but it took four photographs to capture it in its entirety, seamlessly woven
together digitally to create a panoramic vista that recalls the work of Ansel Adams himself. Staff photo.

“What burns me up is they staged it precisely at a location where we couldn’t see it without having to go into West Hills,” says resident Téodor “Ted” Pasternak. “Due to the necessary angle of refraction, most Canoga Park residents were completely unaware of what by all accounts was a beautiful rainbow occurring directly overhead. Unless you were west of Shoup [Avenue], you didn’t even see it. But it was all over Twitter, all over Facebook — posted by people from over there. Typical West Hills selfish behavior.”

One of countless mentions across social media follow-
 ing the debut of the West Hills rainbow. Image: Twitter.

Some at tonight’s meeting took issue with the fact that the rainbow was scheduled for a time when most Canoga Park residents were still at work, while West Hillians, many independently wealthy or working from comfy home offices, merely needed to step outside, or just peer out of enormous double-pane bay windows, perhaps while sipping a warm cup of hot cocoa, to view it.

Reached by phone for comment, Bob Rawlins, president of the of the West Hills Neighborhood Council, exclaimed “I really don’t see what the big deal is. We got all the necessary permits and paid all the fees. They can go down to City Hall if they want to. Everything’s on file.

“And as a matter of fact, we did alert Canoga Park about it. We sent someone over to that street fair you people had going on yesterday [Carne Asada Aroma Competes With Idling Classic Car Exhaust Fumes at 15th Annual Día De Los Muertos Festival, November 1], and passed out flyers.”

The Quilt obtained a copy of the flyer, and while it does alert local residents to the impending multicolored arc, it specifically warns them not to look directly at it. When pressed, Rawlins admitted that looking at the rainbow posed no danger to Canoga Park residents’ eyes but he “just didn’t think it was fair for those living outside of the West Hills area to view something they didn’t pay for.” He admitted the flyer “might have been worded better...but it’s ultimately not our fault if it was misinterpreted.”

“Oh, we’re not done with this, not by a long shot,” notes Canoga Park Friendly Neighborhood Council attorney Lou Steinmart. “We’re looking into sanctions against West Hills. Hit ‘em where it hurts — in the ol’ pocketbook. Maybe even encourage our residents to stay away from that can recycling center by Ralphs, and out of Walmart and Ross Dress-For-Less for a few days. 

“...If that’s at all possible.”