CPFNC to Parade Spectators: No Need To Go On The Sidewalk This Year

By Michale Hemmingway, Quilt Staff

DATELINE: SHERMAN WAY

When the parade comes to town tomorrow, one thing you won’t see is Canoga Parkians squatting curbside and relieving themselves along Sherman Way, for fear that they’ll miss a single float, balloon, marching band, or, perhaps ironically, the world famous Chatsworth Pooping Stallions. 

“This year we decided to do things differently,” says Murla Havemeyer, head of Parade Organizement for the Canoga Park Friendly Neighborhood Council. “Especially considering what’s happened in the past. Hoo boy...!” 

No, "Dr. Who" hasn't zapped into Canoga Park - it's actually a
convenient curbside commode for spectator use. Staff photo.

This year, portable toilets, or port-a-lets, have been dispersed along the parade route at various intervals. Inside each of the units, users will find basic toilet amenities such as a urinal “trough” as well as a sturdy seat set over a large, hollow, reservoir-like collection chamber. Each of the handsome aqua-colored pylons will be stocked with a reasonable supply of practical one-ply toilet paper, available within handy reach, for those who use it. Some of the convenient mobile facilities may even contain a single agitated and confused bee banging at the vent panels or at the translucent ceiling, although as of press time, specific locations were not available. 

Havemeyer reports that use of the facilities is free to both Canoga Park residents and their guests, on a first-come, first-served basis.  “Even unchaperoned visitors to our area are welcome to use the port-a-lets without charge,” she notes.

Staff photos. 

While the small enclosures do not offer the often cavernous, echo-y acoustics of a traditional large tiled public restroom, those who enjoy chatting on their smartphones while defecating may find the snug, cozy accomodations create a unique sound environment all its own.