Canoga Park Friendly Neighborhood Council Election Results!

By Sherman Farralone, Quilt staff

Staff photo.

DATELINE: DEMOCRACY!

An amazing turnout this year - nearly three dozen voters visited the Canoga Park Community Center yesterday to do their duty as Canoga Park citizens in good standing and vote in Empower LA’s Canoga Park Friendly Neighborhood Council elections. This represents a significant uptick from our last election, where nearly half of the candidates didn’t even bother to show up to vote.

Without further adieu, the results...

• Retail/Service Business Representatives
Ronald Ben Clary and Avi Feinstein

• Liaison to the Council of Unlicensed Food Cart Vendors
Mike "Ronnie" Dorado

• Walk-of-Hearts Gum Scraper-Offer (Discount Birds to the Adult Novelties Store)
Vera Morris

• Alley Dog Doo Spotter
Helen Caputo

• Committee to Get The Food Truck That Broadcasts That Weird, Intermittent Clanging Noise To Hit Up Variel & Cohasset Once In A While, C’mon!
Phil Cheung and Bernice Knudsen

• Inflatable Bounce House Zoning Commission Chairman
Budek Darula

• At-Risk Juvenile Possum Outreach Coordinator
Elise Humberg

• Task Force to Convince Green Thumb To Keep That Marvelous Christmas Tree Room of Theirs Up All Year
Francis Wiggins, Barbara Walczek, Lou Baruno

• Extension Cord Inspector, Department of Decrepit RVs Apparently Parked Permanently On The Street In Front Of The Neighbor’s Place
Hal Plummer

• Late Night Squeaky Shopping Cart Garbage-Picker Route Scheduler
Milt Haggerty

• Annoyance-Based Organizations Representative
Owen Smouth

• Unremarkable But Reasonably Colorful Talent Wrangler (Sidewalk in front of Follow Your Heart site)
Ben Pierce

• Merchant Coordinator, Department of Bootleg CDs Sold Out Of A Large Cardboard Tray (Back entrance to 99¢ Only site)
Marisol Mendez-Purcell

• Chairman of the Panel to Get Walgreen’s To Open Another Goddamn Register Already, This Is Ridiculous
Edward Knox

• Chief Ignorer, Department of Illegally-Converted Garages
Daniel Iverson

• Walk-of-Hearts Gum Scraper-Offer (El Gringo Laundromat to That Furniture Store On The Corner That Sells Dressers Upholstered with Dora the Explorer Fleece)
Jim Gutierrez 

Are you among the nearly thirty-six patriotic Canoga Parkians
who exercised their right to vote in yesterday's election?
No? Well, then you're just a horrible person.     Staff photo.

Despite a Canoga Park Quilt endorsement recommending residents vote for Xposed’s Brad Barnes, Avi Feinstein and Chris Stark, only Feinstein won his contest. 

Regardless, the unusually high voter turnout has been attributed to Barnes’, Feinstein’s and Stark’s candidacies: An exit poll revealed that many voters misunderstood that there would be fully-nude voting at yesterday’s polling place. (There was not.)

Congratulations to all the winners - but also to the losers and local residents who voted because, really, all of Canoga Park wins when we get involved. But we’d like to extend a special congratulations to Owen Smouth, our very own editor here at the Quilt, who won his race as the Representative for Annoyance-Based Organizations. 

We understand he intends to take his new position very seriously.